7 Stages

I have had a whirlwind of emotions this weekend and at one point I felt like I was/am going through the 7 stages of grief. I am not and will not be mourning a person per say, but I am mourning a "situation" that we have been given. I will gladly give it away though!

Last week when Roland and I were told what the scenario was we dealt with Shock & Denial. Oh, it will just be cysts and everything will be fine after the surgery. Really we were preparing ourselves for the worst.

Over the course of the weekend Roland was dealing with the actual Pain and possibly Guilt for not getting on our doctors to get an ultrasound earlier. I was dealing with the Pain of what lies ahead for us all. Can I be the rock that he needs me to be? Can I keep my cool when life gets more stressful than I can handle? I will certainly give my 100% towards any situation that lies ahead.

Last night and today I just feel Angry. There I said it, I am angry! Why us? We live a simple little life. We do as much as we possibly can for our kids. We spend time with our family and friends and we mind our own business. We don't deserve this! A few people have always said to me that God only gives us what we can handle. Well, doesn't he know that I am a total stress case! I guess this will test me fully!

Depression is the 4th stage and I can tell you that I will NOT go down that road again. It is a horrible road and it won't happen again. We have the best support system EVER so we will come out with flying colors.

I am looking forward as much as I can to getting on with this, getting treatment and moving on with our life. So the final stages will still take some time.

We look forward to... the upward turn, working through and hope!

So basically if I can sum this up quickly...We are going to kick cancers ass!

Thank you to everyone who has shown overwhelming support in the last week. We are basically going to weigh 300lbs by the end of this because of all you wonderful people who have been feeding us. Thank you for the calls, emails, flowers, cards, texts, hugs and prayers. You all rock! We love you all!